Why Randonneuring is not for me

Evo blasting it on the cyclocross course !

Although I read the Randonneuring blogs with some interest, I have concluded it isn't for me. The factors that have drawn me to this conclusion are as follows:

1. Although my teammates might disagree, I'm just not slow enough
2. While I like wool, it is more of a plutonic relationship
3. Warped self image aside, I'm not fat enough
4. Despite my mother's life of trying, I can't endure bacon as well as I should
5. Having climbed mountains and ridden passes, I'm not about to strap some big ass pack on my bike and fight gravity
6. I just don't feel like giving some stuffed animal a perpetual ride on my bike
7. Given the choice of carrying my own food and having someone else do it, I'm all about letting someone else get the glory
8. Given the choice of carrying my shed layers or handing them to a loved one or support vehicle, once again I will share the load
9. I think you wear mountain bike shoes when you mountain bike and road shoes when you ride on the road
10. As discussed previously in this blog, my headlight is super wussy

Factors that made me think that maybe Rando was for me:

1. I like wool
2. I like oatmeal
3. I like steel bikes
4. I don't always have to go fast
5. I like really long rides
6. I do stupid things

There is more to cold than WOOL !!